


Puns, Pans, and Confessions

by Trinki



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Pans, and confessions, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 18:02:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5835454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trinki/pseuds/Trinki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin makes puns, Bilbo hates it.</p>
<p>I wrote this for a friend of mine and I thought that I could share it with AO3 ;3;</p>
            </blockquote>





	Puns, Pans, and Confessions

After the battle of the five armies Thorin travelled back to The Shire with Bilbo. The dwarf settled in quite nicely with the local folk and even became a drinking buddy of the Brandybuck on the hill and across the stream outside of Bilbo’s home – Fortinbras Brandybuck.

Over time Thorin’s tense battle instincts slowly diminished as he started to come to terms that The Shire was safe, no Orcs, no Goblins or annoying elves, just Hobbits and livestock; of course Gandalf visited every few months for tea. Bilbo saw another side of his friend, a goofy and laid back Thorin, and he couldn't be happier. There were some occasions in the beginning that worried Bilbo somewhat, like that time when Thorin pulled his sword out on a friendly neighbour coming to invite the two for a drink – in which Bilbo profusely apologised to them. But then again that’s what happens when you gain a warrior as your new room mate.

Though, Bilbo was sick of the words ‘friend’ and ‘room mate’, he wanted more, he wanted ‘boyfriend’ and ‘partner’. During Thorin’s stay at Bag End the young hobbit hated to say it but he fell, he fell down into a cavern and couldn't get back out - it’s not like he could help it! Just the low chuckle of the dashing dwarf could make Bilbo flustered, his hugs could make him pass out if Bilbo didn't concentrate on keeping his composure. The funny thing is… Thorin knew, Thorin knew everything and he returned all those feelings, but to he was too busying making his little hobbit embarrassed for his own amusement.

On one average day in The Shire, Thorin was in a joking mood. Just that morning whilst preparing second breakfast Bilbo asked the dwarf if he could use the pan to cook some eggs and sausages, Thorin then giggled and stated - as he was handing the pan over.

“Yes, yes you _pan_!” And with that Bilbo stared at his bearded friend with a dumbfounded look as his mind processed what had just been said.

“Oh my god.”

“I know, I know, I'm so _punny_!” At this Bilbo face palmed a yanked the pan out of the larger man’s hands and started cracked an egg into the frying pan. “Awh Bilboruniii, let’s not get _scrambled_  now! You can’t disagree that my puns are  _cracking_ ,” Thorin joked as he winked to the Hobbit, this caused Bilbo to growl in annoyance whilst Thorin tried to muffle his giggles.

“You’re such a butt!” Bilbo yelled towards the dwarf who had just fallen on the ground in laughter.

Thorin had only ceased his laughter once Bilbo had already plated up their breakfast. He jumped back to his feet and walked up to Bilbo’s side. “I'm not just _any_ butt. I'm your butt...” Bilbo wasn't sure whether to be mad or embarrassed any more – probably both. It took Thorin a couple of minutes to register what he had just spoken. “Uh…” Thorin fumbled around trying to think of how to excuse his words, Bilbo straightened up and kissed Thorin’s cheek before saying:

“Yes, you are mine. You’re my Thorin Oaken _butt_.”

 

* * *

 

 

~ Extended Ending ~  
  
Thorin looked down on Bilbo teary-eyed.

“I’m so proud of you! That was a great pun!” Thorin cried tears streaming down his face, Bilbo looked dead panned as he said this. Did Thorin not accept his feelings? Did he not realise that this was kind of a surprised confession? “And well done for finally telling me, took you long enough. Although it was all fun and games to tease you.” Thorin joked, Bilbo’s eyes went white and he picked up the – still hot – frying pan. Raising it above his head he took slow steps towards the Dwarf before screaming out.

“I hate you Thorin Oakenshield!”

“Love you too Bilbo!” Thorin laughed back before taking off away from the deadly Bilbo.


End file.
